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A couple of weeks ago I received an e-mail about a ‘great’ lead generation program. The e-mail stated that the system helps you quickly achieve ‘know, like and trust’ status with leads. It was intriguing. A system to accelerate the connection process? I was all for it!

However, as I investigated the program, I quickly discovered that it is a system where you assume a relationship with the person you are contacting. The creator of the system seems to think that if you communicate in a friendly way, even though you don’t know the prospect, the friendliness alone will do the job. It got me thinking about those cold calls I get from people who act like I should know them; that false familiarity.

I’m not sure what the point of these programs is. They seem to assume that the prospect is stupid and doesn’t know who they know. It’s like this -- if I act like I know you and you should know who I am, you will go along with it. The more I think about it, the ruder it becomes. It plays on people’s insecurities and desire to not be embarrassed. After all, isn’t it embarrassing when someone knows you but you don’t remember them?

In my opinion, this is not the way to prospect. Successful business relationships are based on integrity and honesty. They aren’t built on false assumptions and rude behavior. When people feel like someone has fooled them, they are less likely to want to do business with them.

A better way to market your business is to develop sound relationships with people -- those who may need your product or service, and those who may not. There are substantial reasons for using this method as opposed to the method described above.

Ask yourself:

1. Are you in business for the long haul?

2. Do you want to receive referrals from your current clients?

3. What reputation do you want to have?

The answers to these questions will point to the type of marketing you should be doing.

1. Are you in business for the long haul?

This may sound like a silly question but it is critically important. When you find a salesperson behaving badly, chances are he/she is in for the quick hit. Get the business and then move on. You see, deep inside they know that they will not be able to get repeat business from that client. So they sell and then go to another company to sell something else.

When you are a small business owner, you cannot afford to employ someone like this and you can’t afford to behave like this. Considering the time and money you spend prospecting, marketing and bringing on a new client, you have to be sure you are following a process that will ensure your clients will want to stay with you. Of course, I am assuming that as a small business owner, you ARE in business for the long haul.

Want more tips on marketing? Check these out:

2. Do you want to receive referrals from your current clients?

One of the best ways to grow your business is through referrals. And what better place to get referrals than from current clients who are happy with your product or service? If you gain a piece of business through lies and bad behavior, those clients will not refer you. They won’t risk their relationships by putting you in front of their family, friends and associates. You lose an otherwise plentiful prospect stream this way.

Think about who you would refer. It’s the people who treated you fairly, honestly, and did a good job. They were respectful and genuinely interested in helping you solve a problem. Well, the salespeople who try to trick their prospects are only interested in themselves. They are more interested in what they can gain than they are in helping you solve a problem. You may do business with them once, most likely to avoid a confrontation. But you will move heaven and earth to NOT do business with them again. Guess what? Your current clients feel the same way and make the same decisions.

3. What reputation do you want to have?

I ask this question a lot when working with my clients. Who do you want to be? Who do you want others to know you as? At the end of the day, it’s your reputation that will propel you to greatness, or send you spiraling into failure. I submit that you want to be known as someone who cares about their clients; who respects their clients and communicates with them honestly and openly.

In his article Cold Calling is Outdated, Tony Jacowski says this, “Good sales pitches include an assumption that your product or service is a great fit for the other person. But how do you know this if you have never met them before, or had a full conversation? It's much better to pretend you know very little about your prospect. Open the door for them to share some of concerns and issues with you. Then allow them to guide the conversation.”

Talk about respect! In his explanation you are really trying to learn about your prospect. You are not assuming that you know them, or that you know what their problems are. This is the way that you build a reputation as someone who is trustworthy; someone who others will want to do business with.

So, get out of your own way and release yourself from outdated notions of prospecting. The days of the rude, obnoxious, presumptuous salesperson are over (thank goodness!). Prospects want to work with people who have integrity and honesty. Be that person and watch your sales soar!

Diane Helbig is a Professional Coach and the President of Seize This Day Coaching. Diane is a Contributing Editor on COSE Mindspring, a resource website for small business owners, as well as a member of the Sales Experts Panel at Top Sales Experts.

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