To Change Minds on Social Justice, Lead with Empathy

I believe if you’re a Black business owner, it’s only a matter of time before you run into someone who doesn’t support the social justice movement. It may be a client, a peer, business partner, or even an employee. 

It may be frustrating when people don’t know, support or have inaccurate assumptions about the movement’s goals. But it also presents a challenge: How can you encourage them to rethink their position without alienating them?  

Don’t expect to win an argument, especially on social media. A combative approach may shut someone down, but it won’t change their mind, and ultimately, it doesn’t progress much. 

While discussions about big-picture policy solutions require work at the systemic level, they can feel irrelevant or abstract between individuals. To drive human-to-human change, I'm going to examine a different approach: empathy.

Why Empathy Is So Powerful

Empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Naturally, this leads the empathizer to see the subject in question from new perspectives.

Without empathy, someone may understand concepts like systemic racism or poverty in the abstract, but that isn’t the same as feeling their human consequences. It’s that deep understanding—that sense of feeling—that actually changes minds. 

The question is, how do we make someone empathize with something they have little to no experience in? At the end of the day, it’s each person’s decision and responsibility to empathize. But there are things you can do to help, such as giving them opportunities to empathize or making it easy to empathize.

Here are three practical ways I believe you can  do that:

1. Use Gratitude

Inherent to understanding the struggles of the Black community is seeing the relative privilege of others, particularly the white community. Encouraging someone to be grateful for their blessings implicitly reminds them that not everyone enjoys those blessings. 

The beauty of gratitude is that it builds empathy no matter a person’s background. That same dynamic holds true when it comes to race: Encouraging someone to see how they benefited merely because of the color of their skin gets them to see the other side of the coin.

Leading with gratitude also works for two other reasons: It turns what could be an argumentative conversation into a positive, constructive one, and it reinforces their relationship with you. It’s tough to see someone who simply wants you to be grateful as anything but a friend. 

2. Tell Stories

What’s more likely to instill empathy in someone: a number, or a story about someone who suffered an injustice? Try it, and you’ll see that the second is much more effective. 

A good story compels listeners to walk in another person’s shoes, whether the story is real or fictional. The most effective stories, however, will be either your own or about someone you know personally.

Without empathy, someone may understand concepts like systemic racism or poverty in the abstract, but that isn’t the same as feeling their human consequences. It’s that deep understanding—that sense of feeling—that actually changes minds.

Humans are hardwired to tell and listen to stories. It’s impossible not to root for a character you can relate to and, likewise, feel frustrated about obstacles they face. In other words, stories plant a seed of empathy. 

To be effective, a story about the struggles of Black Americans doesn’t have to be dramatic. Even mentioning small injustices you’ve suffered can elicit empathy in someone you know well. Think about how you’d feel if you knew your best friend had not received a home loan or was hurt in a routine traffic stop. 

3. Be Generous

When someone treats you well, it’s difficult to discount their ideas out of hand. Even if they believe differently than you do, you can’t help but empathize with them. 

This is the root of the “love your enemies” principle espoused by Black leaders like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Being generous with people who see themselves as “on a different team” humanizes not just you, but the ideas you stand for. 

You don’t have to do anything extravagant. Give social justice skeptics your time. Throw in a small discount on their order. Hold open the door for them. Say “please” and “thank you.”

Systemic racism won’t be solved in a single conversation, but that’s how every change starts: with empathy, one person at a time. 

Photo: Getty Images